Walk With Me

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book we were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:14-16

How often do we look at ourselves and think we are not good enough or we aren’t doing as much as the person next to us? How often do we compare ourselves to others and feel jealousy for someone else? This has been something I have personally struggled with most of my life. I have always felt like I’m a step behind everyone because I didn’t graduate college, get married, or have kids. I have been letting others steal my joy for so long because I’m so filled with jealousy.

I am now 31 and I’m looking at my life in a way I never have before. I’m sitting with my uncle last night and I’m writing a paper for school and he’s watching a show. All of a sudden, he pauses his show and looks at me because he could tell I wasn’t fully there. I stop and look back at him and start crying because my heart is so heavy. I’m praying every day for God to reveal more of His will for me, and I think one reason why I was crying was because I have spent my whole life looking at everyone surrounding me instead of looking straight ahead at my path. I cannot continue to let my jealousy steal my joy.

Comparison is something I think we all deal with whether its comparing lives, comparing material things, or comparing people. The question is why are we so fixated on everyone in this world and how do we stop? The first thing I am doing every morning before I get out of bed is pray. I pray for God to lead my steps for the day and to open my heart and eyes. This prayer time in the mornings sets the stage for the rest of my day and gets me focused on God. Then I get up, get dressed, do my makeup, and fix my hair so I feel good about how I look going out in public. Physical appearance is not everything, but it does build confidence. If I can be happy with how I look then that eliminates my desire to look at what others look like. Making plans and finding things to do that will help others is another thing I focus on because it takes the focus off of me. I have realized that as soon as I shift my focus off of this world (including myself) my eyes look to God. A way to look at it is this: if you look down you see yourself, if you look to the right or left you see other people, but if you look up you see the world, and when you look at the world and its beautiful magnitude, you see God. And then your mind shifts to Him and remember it’s not about you at all. Our joy comes from Jesus Christ alone.

God has paved a path for me, my best friend, my cousin, and for you and they are all different. While my path may look very different than my best friends, both of them are beautiful. There is only one you in this world, and you have a wonderful purpose. If you are single like me, cherish this time of growth because God is building you to do something you can’t even imagine. If you are a husband and wife praying to have kids, believe that God’s timing is perfect and He is using you for something else right now. For mothers and fathers, every house looks different. Some mothers work, some don’t and there is nothing wrong with either one. Your primary role in life is to love God, and that looks different for everyone. Show your kids love, teach them about Jesus, and be present in their testimony. Your path is perfect and it’s a path only you can walk.

“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

As we move forward in our lives, remember that God created you from nothing. He made you a man or a woman, He colored your skin, eyes, and hair. He put your bones and heart in place. He took His time to make you exactly who He wanted you to be. He wrote your book and filled it with dates according to His plans. He gave you gifts to use throughout your life. Let’s not be so wrapped up in everyone else that we run out of time to use those gifts and walk our path. I want to stand face to face with God on the day He calls me home and say with empty hands, “I gave everything for You.” I don’t want to carry anything undone into Heaven.

This was a long one so if you’re still here, thank you. I encourage all of us to walk our paths and not stray off the pavement. You are perfectly and wonderfully made, and there is only one you.

Love you all and God bless you,

Courtney McKean